Emotional Roller Coaster

Up, down, up, down.. and back again. Emotional roller coaster= The story of my freaking life!
I found out yesterday that I didn't receive enough financial aid( Federal Student loans) to cover my tuition this year. I didn't qualify for ANYTHING grant or scholarship related. I'm about $10,000 short to go full time, about $9,100 short to go 3/4 time, and about $500 to go part time. So.... It doesn't look like I will be starting school this quarter or the next. I was looking into getting a private student loan, but something about that has me worried- 1. The interest rates suck. 2. I won't be able to start paying it back along with my other student loans 6 months after I graduate. 3. The thought of taking out another loan just to go back to school as me unsettled.
Right now, I'm in a dark and twisty place (Grey's Anatomy quote) I'm trying to shake it, but I can't right now.
Disappointed is not even the word for how I feel. More like defeated. I was finally ready to go back to school, and now this.. I know that God has a plan for each person but, I really wish he would tell me MY plan, or give me hint... Something, cause this is not how I saw my life at 25.
The old adage-"Hindsight is always 20/20"- It sure is. Too bad, I can't go back in time.

*Out